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Hesitation

Every word that crosses my mouth
Has been thought about and revised
I think too much which causes doubt
I feel like I’m losing my mind

I keep my feelings on a shelf
It’s simpler when they’re not around
If I don’t matter to myself
Other people can’t let me down

I’d rather make someone happy
Than let my needs get in their way
It’s how I’ve tought myself to be
Now I’d rather not have a say

I’m not even sure how to know
What it is that I really want
It’s hard to let my feelings show
When I’ve never allowed my thoughts

I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong choice
What if someone doesn’t agree
I’m better off making no noise
Then no one will be mad at me

By Kari Ann, © 2013, All rights reserved.
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Secret Sadness

To think of myself as depressed
Makes a lot of sense
I hold back tears which causes fears
I don’t cry so nobody hears

Ever since I can remember
Although it’s a blur
I pretended I wasn’t sad
Even around my mom and dad

Now I always doubt how I feel
I’m not sure what’s real
I think I’ve always been depressed
But my friends would have never guessed

I used to wish that I’d get sick
It just never clicked
I didn’t like being awake
All that I needed was a break

Anxiety could sometimes help
So I didn’t dwell
It gave me something new to feel
When I didn’t know how to heal

Now anxiety controls me
I wish I was free
But for so long it’s been my crutch
I feel that I need it so much
By Kari Ann, © 2013, All rights reserved.

Music and Lyrics

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Ven Diagram of Writers Block

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Unheard

“I scream into the night, but all you hear is a whisper” – Kari Ann Fallon

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These words aren’t meant to comfort you
They’re not even meant to be said
Don’t push your luck; don’t take a look
These are words that shouldn’t be read

I can’t believe I’m writing this
It isn’t even how I feel
I don’t know where it’s coming from
I wish I could write something real

But for now this will have to do
It’s unoriginal at best
I know you don’t want to read it
Because it’s an absolute mess
By Kari Ann, © 2011, All rights reserved.